This picture has been hanging in our home for years. It still holds a prominent space in my apartment. Crystle loved it, and so do I. It embodies our life and our love in so many ways.

We loved the ocean and spent so many vacations on the Maine coast I cannot count. Nothing made Crystle happier than strolling along the Marginal Way in Ogunquit, Me. She could not wait to take Quinn, our grandson, to her favourite place by the sea. She wasn’t able to enjoy that but I will make sure Quinn sees his grandma’s favourite place by the sea.

The picture screams spontaneity, don’t you think? Surely this lovely couple didn’t plan to dance on the beach in the rain. Maybe the rain had spoiled a picnic when they came across this beach and decided to enjoy the time alone on nature’s dance floor. Whenever I was able to surprise Crystle with a spontaneous event, I was rewarded with her biggest smiles.

Then this picture shows a couple who love each other deeply. And while they love family and friends, they cherish moments alone, hand in hand; heart to heart. That was surely Crystle and me.

The funniest memory is our dancing. We weren’t very good, but that didn’t stop us from dancing, most often around our kitchen floor. We took ballroom dancing lessons about ten years ago—it didn’t last long when Crystle found out the instructor insisted on the man taking the lead. I can’t help but laugh as I remember those times together. We resorted to dancing in our kitchen to John Pardi’s ‘Head Over Boots’ country song.

For me, it is good to sometimes sit and reflect on our love together. I just can’t dwell there.  I keep dancing.


It will be our 38th wedding anniversary on October 10th. I celebrate these ‘big’ important dates. I see them coming and they are times of happy reflection for me. I don’t allow them to be sad days.

The picture of Crystle that I have hanging in my home was taken at a Niagara restaurant when we were celebrating our 35th anniversary. It struck me this year that I will never be able to update that picture.

It seems like an obvious thing, doesn’t it? I mean, Crystle passed away eighteen months ago. How would I ever think I could get an updated picture of my beloved wife? I have no profound answer to my dilemma other than to say I have come to the stark realization that for me, Crystle is frozen in time. Whenever I think of her, that picture of our anniversary in 2016 comes to mind. Or at least, an image of the way she appeared in that photo always come to mind.

So I stopped myself. I began to remember her wearing different pieces of clothing. I spent time reflecting on the times I had been with her when she made those purchases. I remembered her changing her hair style, and sometimes her hair colour. I changed the wallpaper on my phone to a picture of Crystle wearing a pink dress she wore to Megan and Steve’s engagement party.

I don’t know why I did this but it seems to be a journey that I needed to take. Then I realized that Crystle is so much more than her physical body. I continue to hear stories about Crystle and the beautiful person she was, in the way she treated people. So I am content to remember Crystle, as the beautiful 58-year old woman she was when she left us.

Happy Anniversary Crystle.